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The Lying Game [Eberle/Hall]
Eberle ASG
caaare wrote in caaare_fic
Title: The Lying Game
Characters: Jordan Eberle, Taylor Hall
Word Count: 824
Rating: PG
A/n: Hopefully someday I can stop writing these idiots.
Summary: Hallsy likes to tell stories about how he got his scar (yes, *that* one). Ebs isn't amused.

Ebs is sitting in the back corner of a seedy bar, absentmindly playing with his beer bottle. He's bored and tired and the selection of hot girls in this bar falls short of even his low standards. To be honest, the only person who's worth taking home is the one he came with. And Hallsy has ignored every attempt to catch his eye and at least four texts--which Ebs knows he got, because Hallsy is incapable of not checking his phone every two minutes, but he keeps putting it away without responding to Ebs' increasingly annoyed requests to get the fuck out of here.

Hallsy has other ideas, clearly. He has spent the last twenty minutes in the middle of at least five girls (skinny, short, blonde things) at the bar, apparently regaling them with some ridiculous tales that Ebs can guarantee are obvious exaggerations and only 10% true, if that. The girls either don't care or are too stupid to tell because they're hanging on his every word like he invented the damn English language.

Ebs heads over to the bar with the intention of grabbing onto Hallsy's collar and dragging him out of there, by force if necessary. As he gets close, he hears what Hallsy is saying: "So he swings, and I snatch the baby out of the way of the hatchet and he gets my face instead." All the girls flinch in sympathy and one shrieks, flinching.

Ebs snorts so loudly that two of Hallsy's chicks turn to glare at him. One rolls her eyes and turns back to Hallsy but the other looks him over and smiles, brightly. Ebs smiles back to be polite, guessing he could sleep with her without too much effort, but he's too annoyed with Hallsy to consider that for long.

Hallsy has made up so many stupid stories about that damn scar, each one even nuttier than the last, and it works almost every time. Ebs has seen it work even when he tells the truth--apparently hockey injuries are scary and sexy even when they're the result of a chain of idiotic moves. The only time Hallsy got rejected was when he claimed it was from some strange brain disease he’d caught while helping orphans in Africa that the doctors had found just in time, but they had to slash open his head to dig it out--the girl ended up being a doctor herself and didn't believe him.

Hallsy's still going, adding layers onto the story for his captive audience. "I'm carrying the baby, trying to run away, when I see the basket full of baby kittens. I can't leave the kittens, right?"

Ebs has heard enough. "Really, Taylor," he interrupts. "I can't believe you're leading these lovely ladies on like that." He gives Hallsy a meaningful look, hoping he catches on and thinks Ebs is just trying to get in on it (like that one time in Denver when Ebs jumped in, told the girls they were hockey players and Hallsy got hurt in a game, and the four of them spent a wild night back at the hotel together).

Taylor grins, and Ebs thinks Hook, line, and sinker. "Okay fine, Jordan, tell 'em the truth."

Ebs steps in the center of the circle, and imitates Hallsy's "intimate story voice" saying, "We were at this strip club..." He almost ruins it by bursting out laughing but keeps it together. The girls are starting to look a little confused as his words sink in, but they aren't giving up on the idea of Hallsy-as-hero just yet. "...and Taylor's staring at one of the dancers like he'd never seen boobs before, walks straight into a glass door with enough force that he shatters it, and gets that nasty cut." He can't help adding, "But the strippers were all over him so it was something of a win."

Hallsy just stares at him as the girls shake their heads and wander off, throwing him dirty looks. "Look, he's lying, he's jealous, girls, come on, don't go." They've already left though, so instead Hallsy whirls on Ebs and starts bitching at him, "Seriously Eberle, couldn't you have fucked off? I would've shared."

Ebs snorts. "Seriously, Hall, saving a baby from a hatchet-bearing mad man? You deserved the strip club." He heads for the exit, knowing Hallsy will follow now that he's paying attention.

Hallsy does, keeping even with him. He smirks. "You saw them hanging on every word."

"Clearly if they knew the real you, Pinoccchio, they wouldn't be interested."

"What's your excuse then?"

Ebs smirks. "You can get on your knees when we get home, and I'll show you."

"That sounds more like me showing you."

"Good idea, thanks for offering."

Hallsy laughs and shoves into Ebs, knocking him sideways. "Who's offering? You'll be begging for it."

"Careful, buddy, or we'll have to stop and pick up your helmet on the way."

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I love them. They are such idiots in this. And for the record, I hope you never stop writing them. ;)

that last line still cracks me up. I'm really glad we spent foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on it. And I hope you start writing them. ;)

Oh boys. You so would. You so would. Silly boys ♥

they would. and they do. thanks for reading :)

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haha thanks, this is definitely what their lives are like. and lol, idk, maybe someday I'll write something like that...maybe probably.

ps make sure you check out the last one I wrote....these stupid kids have gotten under my skin. I don't even like the Oilers. I hate them. (....don't believe that for a second)

pps I'll friend you with my real journal if you were looking for that.

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I didn't last. haha.

wait, did you friend the fic journal or me? idk anyway I friended you, it's caaare

This is hilarious, oh man. They are such nerds and I love it <3 Great work! Thanks for sharing! (and obviously you should never stop writing them :D)

teehee thanks! (they aren't letting go anytime soon, don't worry!)

I am SO ridiculously obsessed with this pairing right now, so I think you should definitely KEEP writing them.

they're like the universal OTP because they are so.damn.obvious. thanks for the encouragement XD

Ahhhh I suck for not commenting last night, I have this weird shit called "homework" all of a sudden, but this is great. Boys being dumb fucks for the eternal win, and I love the last line. KEEP WRITING, YOU FIC-WRITING FIEND YOU :D

I love the last line too--I spent 4x as long on the ending as I did the rest of it, so I'm so glad it works XD I WILL IF ONLY BECAUSE I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

good god they are adorable morons!

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